When most people hear “Stoicism,” they picture someone putting up an emotionless façade to hide their feelings. Stoicism is not about bottling up our emotions but rather the pursuit of the intelligent ordering of the mind, in other words the act of being rational with our desires, opinions, and actions.
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.8
(tr. G. Hays)
Equally important, the philosophy of Stoicism is a self-improvement mindset, focussing on controlling what we can control. At first glance, it may seem that many things are beyond our control; however, when we are at our rational best we thrive on the intelligent management of our actions, opinions, and desires.
How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?
Epictetus, Discourses, 1.4.1
(Tr. W.A. Oldfather)
Yet, Stoicism is far from a solo journey. The Stoics saw us as branches of the same tree—connected, interdependent, and strengthened by one another. If you can stay calm and steady, you help others do the same. Those who embody patience, clarity, and self-control have a calming effect. The Stoic goal isn’t just to be rational, but to become someone others can truly rely on in tough times. By learning to stand strong yourself, you lift up those around you. At this point it is natural to ask yourself how can one achieve all this?
The Stoics encouraged self-reflection: by habitually evaluating ourselves and self-correcting our judgements, we become more rational. Moreover, by often reminding ourselves that time is a precious resource and not to be wasted, it helps build resilience against distractions. As Seneca put it,
It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested.
Seneca, De Brevitate Vitae (On the Shortness of Life), 1
(Tr. C. D. N. Costa)
At the centre of Stoicism are four important virtues—Wisdom, Justice, Courage, and Temperance (Moderation)—that guide every decision and action. Stoics utilise practical exercises to build resilience. One is negative visualization: briefly imagining setbacks to strengthen your courage and wisdom. At any given time we can use the “view from above” and gain a better perspective. By using these exercises we will develop the wisdom to choose better courses of action.
Stoicism ultimately is not a fixed destination but a way of flourishing. The Stoics called it eudaimonia, living in accordance with reason, virtue, and our shared humanity. For the Stoics, eudaimonia is a life of moral excellence grounded in Wisdom, Justice, Courage, and Temperance. While Stoic concepts like amor fati (loving one’s fate) can feel at odds with modern mentalities, the core teachings of Stoicism—that true goods lie in our character, not external circumstances—remain profoundly relevant. By embracing virtue as our guiding star, we cultivate inner tranquillity and resilience, allowing us to thrive amid life’s uncertainties rather than merely endure them.